BEGGING IN BOCA, A SIGN OF OUR TIMES;
ALTERNATE STORIES
 
This is purely a work of fiction inspired by these 2
people begging at a street corner in Boca Raton, Florida
​
I am an opportunist, a con man pure and
simple-taking advantage of every situation.
It was only a few years back that people would
see a beggar on the side of the road and feel no
guilt if they did not donate. I myself would never
give a dime to any beggar. Now, after the
economic meltdown, for some people, it is almost
like they are compelled to give. I think they feel
better about themselves when they give to that
good-looking couple on the corner. It makes them
feel as if they are the lucky ones; you know, "but
for the grace of god...” as the expression goes.
And the couple thing is what really brings in
the dough for us. My lady and me are the only
begging couple team that I see in all of South
Florida.
The idea originated when I was in Asheville,
North Carolina where I saw a bunch of people
begging all over the place. It seemed like the
begging capital of America, but it was nice. I
noticed that there was a good-looking young
couple begging and they were getting lots, I mean
lots of money, more money than anyone else. I
hung around and saw that there was nothing
special that they were doing. She was young,
built, sweet looking, and had a painted face; but I
was sure the fact that they were together was what
was bringing in the extra cash. I asked and they let
me take a picture, which I saved because I was so
impressed with them.
Here they are-my inspiration.
Then, more recently, I read an article in USA
Today that said that beggars are making $300 or
more a day. And it said that those that made the
most are COUPLES, women with children and the
disabled. While the rewards were a bit
exaggerated, the money is pretty good.
In the past, I could not imagine myself begging
but when times get tough, you do what you need to
do. As Dylan said; “when you ain't got nothin', you
got nothin' to lose.” Right?
I did not put this knowledge to use until times
got hard. I had a crappy job and Rachel's was
worse. I needed a new gig or scam, something. I
met this guy, Sam, at a Dunkin’ Donuts near our
house. I let him in that I was a little down on my
luck. He suggested his friend, a mortgage broker,
would get us a gorgeous house we could buy with
no money down. It was in the Estansia community,
in suburban Boca Raton, Florida, right near where
we are begging right now. Isn't that the most
pretentious name for a suburban housing
development that you ever heard?
Before we knew it, we were hooked up. The
deal was as sweet as could be. I was buying this
sumptuous house with no money down. The
broker got us the loan with Wachovia claiming we
were making hundreds of thousands a year. He
could not hold back a little grin when he told us
they were called "liar loans".
He swore the bank was not going to check our
income and we were not going to get in any trouble
for doing this. And he was right! Also, even
though the house was selling for $650,000, the
broker somehow prepared the paperwork to the
Bank as if we were paying $725,000. He and Sam
pocketed the difference, giving us $15,000 in cash
in the parking lot. What a deal, a house and cash
for nothing!
WE FOLLOWED THE BROKERS ADVICE AND
MADE NO PAYMENTS-NOT ONE!!!! And we have
been living here for almost 2 years.
The place is nice, more than nice. It is in a
gated community. The house is just wonderful, on
a treed quarter acre oversized lot. It has 3
bedrooms, 3 1/2 baths, a pool, a large two-car
garage, and granite countertops. It is by far the
nicest place I have ever lived in. The house is so
damn big that we barely occupy any of it.
I love it though. I take a swim for exercise
before we go out for the day and after the heat of a
summer afternoon begging, the pool is a great
treat.
We had a house but needed spending
money. Begging is how I decided to earn it.
When I decided to beg, I tried to look at it as a
business. First, was the question of where to do
business; location, location, location. The way it
works at these intersections is first come, first
served. If someone is there, others almost always
stay away. And how many places can you do
business without paying rent?
I would not have chosen the corner of Glades
and Powerline, one of the busiest intersections in
suburban Boca Raton, because it was so close to
my house, and the house came before the
begging. Our house is in the community just south
of that intersection off of Powerline Road. It is a
little more than a quarter mile from the corner
where we beg. But when we tried many other
promising intersections within 5 miles of our house,
we grossed less than half of what we earned here.
And, we had to drive, which is a problem, which I
will explain shortly.
This intersection must be lucky or
something. We set up on the median, next to the
left turn lane on Powerline Road. The drivers going
left have to stop at the light, right next to us, when
it is red. I think the people stopping there feel
guilty and often give as a result.
Those guys begging off the I-95 exits are
fools. It is not hard to see how they ended up
where they are. We tried it up and down the
highway all over Palm Beach and Broward County
and we made next to nothing. And the fumes and
crazy drivers will kill you quick or drive you nuts.
We wanted to do it right, and run it as a
business, so presentation counts! Most people
would guess we would adopt the poor, homeless
look; dirty, unbathed, with tattered clothes and
all. I could never agree with that approach. I am a
very fastidious, hygienic person. I hate even
shaking hands. It took me a long time to get past
obsessing over touching the "donations"
So, the point is, unbathed and dirty clothes
were just not going to happen. We bought plenty
of new clothes; along with the furniture and lots of
other junk with the cash back we got on the
house. We have lots of nice, casual clothes that I
think look great. When I look at our picture, I think
we make just the right appearance.
Look again at our appearance,
very neat I think.
I designed the sign myself. I copied other
beggars that had folding signs, for portability. Also,
I made mine out of durable material so that it could
take the folding and the weather, although we try
not to beg in the rain. It took me a whole evening
to figure out the wording and to write it on the sign,
just so.
I keep my IPhone with me but never take it out,
no matter how often it vibrates. Nobody would
believe a beggar with an IPhone. And worse yet, if
they saw one, they might be moved to violence.
Rachel hates even the idea of begging. She
says she never pictured herself doing this; it was
not what she went to college for. I always remind
her that her wonderful college degree never earned
her much more than minimum wage. She finally
agreed, after a few begging gigs, that the pay was
the best she ever made and the hours were
good. She complains about the fumes and noise
and when it gets hot, she does not stop
bitching. She gets totally stoned every day before
we go out to beg.
We begin around 2:00 p.m. or so. We can
never seem to get up early enough for the morning
commute. The lunch crowd hardly makes it worth
it. But, for whatever reason the 2:00-6:00 afternoon
time slot is great. Lots of days, we don't bother
staying past 4:00-4:30 because we have made
enough and it is time to head home, have a drink, a
smoke and relax by the pool before going out to
dinner.
Getting home is not as easy as it seems, just
as my life is not ideal, as it seems. In fact, it can
be a pain in the ass. While it is a short distance
from the intersection to the house, as the crow
flies, once you are inside the development the road
meanders. The walk is long and sometimes hot.
And it seems we will never get there.
You see, it gets a little complicated. Sam also
gave us other financial advice. He did not have to
say much, but he put the ideas in our heads and
gave us a little direction, for a fee. Now, we have
run with his ideas and we are stuck with their
consequences.
Following Sam's advice; we quickly got the
maximum number of credit cards we could
because we knew our credit would go to shit
fast. Some of those cards had great credit
limits. We immediately charged them to the
max. Also, we got store credit for furniture,
electronics and any crap we could. What we did
not want, we sold. Everything had to be
coordinated so that we would get the maximum
credit from everyone almost at the same time
before the bottom fell out for us.
Anything that had to be shipped went to
friends’ houses and we picked it up from there so
the stores would not know where any of the stuff
ended up. It was more complicated to do it that
way, but well worth it. I don't even know how many
TV's and other electronics we have in the house
now. A couple of big screens are still in their
boxes.
This has been a once in my lifetime windfall, a
giveaway of credit; which is the same as cash to a
guy like me. Who knows, maybe they will be
stupid again. Probably not that stupid!
The point I was getting to before is why we
walk to and from work. We bought, and still have,
although barely, a Mercedes convertible SLK. The
car is not easy to hold on to and the repo man is
always sniffing around our house and our
neighborhood looking for it. If we left the car near
where we beg, he would see it and grab it in a
minute. I don't remember the last time we made a
payment on the car. It has been a while. We did
make some payments though. The bankers who
loan money on cars are a lot smarter than the ones
that loaned money on houses. The guys who loan
on cars have repo guys working for them prowling
the streets for their property. The ones who loaned
on houses have lawyers. Need I say more?
Even if the repo man were not looking for the
car, Rachel and I would still be taking that long
walk twice a day. You see, even though you would
not expect it from a guy like me, I have a deathly
fear of getting caught. It is the confrontation of
being exposed that I dread. I obsess that someone
who gave us money sees us getting into the
Mercedes or driving. There is the beating I would
surely deserve. But in my mind, way worse is
being personally confronted with my lies. It
terrorizes me all through the day and night to think
that I might be caught, confronted and exposed!
And it is not as if we doing anything illegal, that
I know of. It is funny that the cops never bother
us. There must be an order from on high telling
them to lay off. So why am I so paranoid?
As I said, we have a great, wonderful house
with a pool in the back yard. We have a chocolate
brown Lab. The yard is big, but with the pool and
enclosure, there is not much grassy area. Still, I let
the dog go on the yard grass all the time because I
am totally paranoid that if I walk the dog in the
neighborhood, like everyone else, I will be exposed
as the beggar at the intersection right near the
development. The yard is a mess. You cannot
even take a step out there. But I won’t ever walk in
front of my house, for any reason. I don’t want the
confrontation.
It is for the same reason that Rachel and I will
only eat at restaurants that are far enough away
from home so that we will not be recognized. We
go out for dinner every night, although we try to
keep most of the dinners on the cheap side. We
put a lot of miles on that car just to remain
incognito. It is one of the costs of doing business.
A lot of motorists, if they are not going to give
us money, make a great effort to avoid eye contact.
That is fine. If they are not going to give, I don't
care about them at all, as long as they don't make
trouble for us. Some will smile but keep the
windows up. On the other hand, believe it or not, a
lot of people give us food. Candy bars, donuts,
coffee, even sandwiches; lots of good stuff. Of
course, I would rather have the money. But the
food is great. Rachel has porked out on all the
garbage since we have been doing this.
Then, you get the occasional asshole that will
yell something or give you the finger. Or the kid in
the back of a pickup who will throw a beer can. I
swore that I would not carry weapons of any kind
when we beg. I do not want any reason for trouble
with the cops. You know, if anything happens, the
first people that are going to get arrested are the
beggars. For the same reason, I will occasionally
check Rachel's bag or make her empty her pockets
to check for drugs. The last thing I want is for us to
get busted because some eager young cop who
has not gotten the word, decided to check out
Nancy's backpack and finds her stash. She can
get as stoned as she wants before we walk out to
work and when we get home but she cannot carry
once we are out that door.
I know we are not going to be able to do this
forever. The repo man will get the car soon. The
bank will eventually get the house. Times are
different now. The banks and most of the others
have wised up. We will never have the credit to
buy shit again. I guess we never legitimately did
before this opportunity either. We have no more
credit or credit cards we can use. We have no
money in the bank and live from day to day on our
earnings except for a little I put aside that Rachel
does not know about. And Rachel is spending a lot
of money on drugs.
There will come a time, when the car and
house go, and I will leave Rachel and move
on. There is something about our economic
system that lets guys like me take advantage of
any situation that comes up and make the most out
of it. It is all about being willing to take risks and
being nimble. If you make it, enjoy it. If you screw
up, move on, Please! Having a Rachel along can
sometimes make me a little less agile. It is like
having a chain around your neck. It can be very
pretty, but when it gets too heavy it weighs you
down. When the time comes, I will find some gig
that will work alone or with someone
else. Opportunities always present themselves for
guys like me in this economic system.
I don't worry about it.
 
 
The story purely a work of fiction and have no connection to the people depicted in the
accompanying images.